A Year and a Day
by NebulousMistress
Summary: A VERY alternate character interpretation. Is now officially AU. Fifth in the Gillian House series. After ramming her car through a window, what can the future hold?


First, a caveat. This is still a **very** alternate character interpretation. This is fifth in a series.

This story keeps to Season 7 canon. While there are aspects of Season 8 I can use and will hint at them in the later chapters, this is still officially AU as of the end of Season 7.

Yes gender is a fluid concept. But gender is also a legal concept. All too often one will find that the definitions of legal gender are very different from social or personal definition. And in many states, nations, and situations, the legal definition is paramount.

You may notice in this story, hell in this series, that Cuddy is not painted in a flattering light. That is because I do not take kindly to abuse. Nolan's comments on the legality of Cuddy's actions are derived from my research into US Marine Corps definitions and guidelines of spousal abuse among enlisted troops.

This is a work of fanfiction. No money is being made from these pieces. If after 80 _thousand_ words you're still weirded out by this concept then _why are you reading?_

This chapter rated M for themes on gender, abuse of power, etc.

-00000-

In May of 2011 Gregory "Gillian" House crashed his late-model Pontiac through the front room wall of his ex-girlfriend's home. In a state of lucid madness that described his normal operating state he presented Lisa Cuddy with a boar-bristle hairbrush and walked away from the scene.

When the police took statements Lisa Cuddy made absolutely sure to paint him in the most unflattering light possible. He wasn't there to defend himself from character assassination.

He was unstable; he had a history of hospitalizations at Mayfield Psychiatric Hospital. He was immoral; he had a long history of acting outside his medical authority, bullying patients into treatments against their will, and alienating coworkers and underlings. He was unethical; he commonly experimented on his patients often without their knowledge or consent. He was an addict; he had a history of taking vicodin for non-medical reasons and his addiction had recently relapsed. He was insane; he thought he was a woman and fully expected everyone around him to go along with this charade until something new came along.

The police dutifully wrote everything down as they were required.

There was a second statement but it could do little to rebut Lisa Cuddy's claims. Yes, he had a history of hospitalizations. Yes, he was immoral and unethical. Yes, he was an addict. But he was not insane. This was not a random act. This was the action of a hurt, abused, neglected woman who felt he had no other recourse because of history and professional relationships.

Even so, vengeance is not a recognized right under the law.

Dr. Wilson was offered the right to press charges. Assault with a deadly weapon. He refused.

Dr. Cuddy was offered the same right. Vehicular assault, attempted mayhem, assault with a deadly weapon. She pressed them all and demanded the right to press more.

To make matters worse, he ran. He fled the scene of the crime, a felony in and of itself. When they found him he was going to be thrown in a hole and never heard from again.

-00000-

There was a coldness to Cuddy's eyes when she heard House had turned himself in. A cold satisfaction. He hurt her and now she was going to hurt him back. He wouldn't let her control their relationship and now she was going to make him pay.

She followed the guard into the county lockup. She was led to a private visitor's room and told to wait.

This sort of room was nicer than she expected. She hoped the cells were worse. Cuddy checked her nails as she let her mind drift to an article in the newspaper a few months ago about rights abuses in local jails. Her mind envisioned House being on the receiving end of a beating like that. It didn't sicken her the way the article itself had. Instead she felt warm inside knowing that House would be getting exactly what she felt he deserved.

The door opened. House was brought in by a guard.

His head was downcast, his hands chained in front of him, he could barely walk. His disgustingly long hair was wild and stringy. The jail clothes smoothed away all of the changes in his body, restoring him to the man he used to be. Except his stubble was gone. What, were they letting him shave but not shower or something? If that were the case then why didn't he smell like it?

House sat in the chair across from Cuddy. He looked at his hands.

"Look at me," Cuddy said.

He didn't respond.

"I want to look in the eyes of the man who ruined my life," she snapped.

He turned further away.

"Pathetic," she said. "Look at you. You can't even fake defiance anymore. You ruin my life then you run away to God knows where. But you can't even do that right, can you? Nooo, you have to come crawling back here. What, did you honestly believe I'd take you back? That there was anything left for you here? You destroyed everything you ever held dear the moment you decided to ruin my life, House.

"Do you have any idea what it's been like here? You hurt me. Worse, you hurt my daughter. She hasn't had a night without nightmares since you did this. I should have dumped you earlier. I should have kicked you to the curb the moment you decided it was a good idea to inflict your transsexuality on my daughter.

"I gave Foreman your department, House. I should have just defunded the whole thing and fired all your fellows. They're poison. You've tainted them with your immoral idiocy. You've turned them into little yous. Hear me this, the moment Foreman slips up I am firing them all to protect my hospital. I'm not letting your stench contaminate everything I've ever worked for."

Cuddy glared at House, at the shell of a man who hadn't even looked at her through all her words. Instead he just stared down at his hands. No reaction, no response, no retort, nothing. "You're a coward, House," she said. "You won't even look at me."

House said nothing.

Cuddy stood up. "I hope you burn," she snapped and stormed out of the room.

She met Assistant DA Rachel Brooke on her way out. "You went in to see him, didn't you?" Brooke asked.

Cuddy didn't say anything, just gave her a smug grin.

"You really should not have done that," Brooke said. "You could undermine your case against him."

"As if my talking to him is really going to change his actions," she said.

Brooke sighed and shook her head. Cuddy was right, though. Unless House got an absurdly good lawyer and started presenting a defense he would find himself behind bars for a very long time.

-00000-

House wondered who it was this time. She sat in the visitor's room, wrists shackled in front of her on the desk. The damned guard wouldn't even give her a piece of string to keep her hands busy and she couldn't quite twist her wrists enough to be able to fight thumb wars with herself.

She ignored the door when it opened. It was never anyone interesting, probably just the Assistant DA again trying to convince her to get a lawyer. She didn't want a lawyer. She'd flipped the table, ruined everyone's hands, lost her stack, and got caught by casino security. Now she had to pay. Why couldn't anyone see that?

"I'm disappointed in you, Gillian," said one gratingly familiar voice. "Cuddy doesn't deserve the importance you're placing upon her."

House turned to give Nolan a good glare. "And what makes you think she had any in my mind?" she snapped.

"Wilson tells me you were asking about getting a lawyer," Nolan said, sitting down. "Then Cuddy comes to visit you and suddenly you've decided against putting up a defense. She doesn't deserve that level of importance."

House shrugged. "I hurt her. I tried to hurt her. It felt good hurting her. Even if hurting her could never make up for how badly she hurt me it still felt good. And I'm not supposed to feel good."

"Why aren't you supposed to feel good?"

"Because I drove my car through her living room window!"

Nolan nodded thoughtfully. "She hurt you and so you decided to hurt her back. And now you feel guilty because it made you feel good."

"I don't deserve a defense," House said. "I just… I just want to pay for what I did and be done with it."

"You have a fairly impressive list of charges," Nolan said. "What else did you do?"

"Else?" House asked, confused.

"Yes, what else? The vehicular assault obviously comes from driving your car through her window but what about all the other charges? Did you threaten her after that? Was there a weapon involved? What did you do after you drove through her window?"

House's confusion deepened. "I fled the country?" she said. "I handed her the hairbrush of mine she claimed was hers and walked off."

"All these charges…" Nolan whispered. "Just that one incident?"

House nodded.

Nolan sat back in the uncomfortable chair. Cuddy was trying to **bury** House by alleging charges that never really happened. And now House was offering no defense because Cuddy came by and guilted her into…

"You're getting a lawyer," Nolan said.

House glared.

"No, Gillian, this is very wrong. There's no way all these charges should be filed against you for just driving your car through a window. You are getting a lawyer."

"Fine," House snapped.

Nolan took a breath. One battle was over for now. "So where did you hide out?" he asked.

"Well, I ended up in Mexico…"

-00000-

"So good of you to see me on such short notice," Nolan said.

District Attorney Aaron Lee sat back at his desk. His office was somewhat sparse of overly expensive furnishings, instead favoring comfortable chairs and pictures of his dogs. "You're here on behalf of the House vs. Cuddy case, right?" he asked.

"That's right," Nolan said.

"He says he's waived his right to an attorney. Not much you or I can do now."

Nolan hid his surprise. He'd thought House had merely decided not to offer a defense, not that she waived all right to counsel. "What if Dr. House waived that right under duress?"

"I can assure you, Dr. Nolan, that he is under no duress," Lee said, unimpressed.

"Not from you, from the ex-girlfriend, Dr. Cuddy," Nolan amended. "She's been in to see Dr. House. Right to counsel wasn't waived until after that meeting."

"Interesting."

"I can provide a defense with proof that Dr. Cuddy has not exactly been on the level when it comes to Dr. House," Nolan offered.

"Explain," Lee said, taking notes. Suddenly this case wasn't so cut-and-dry.

"I can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Dr. Cuddy is guilty of level 4 psychological abuse for her actions against Dr. House during their relationship. Because there was at least one suicide attempt involved it might even be considered level 5. And then there's sexual abuse to consider."

"We have surveillance video somewhere of her visit, maybe I should go over that again. And of course if any of these allegations end up true I'll need your cooperation as Dr. House's therapist in turning over any records that may be relevant. Dr. Cuddy will be banned from visiting her ex until we can get to the bottom of this. Unfortunately, as you may know, as this alleged abuse is psychological we cannot do anything unless Dr. House actually comes forward. Or unless evidence can be provided that the sexual abuse involved coercion."

"Getting Dr. House to admit it would be the most difficult part," Nolan agreed. "But the first thing to do is find out exactly what sort of influence Dr. Cuddy still has and stop it."

"Of course," Lee said. "If we find that any more decisions of the defense have been influenced by Dr. Cuddy then we'll be forced to throw the entire case out of court."

"And finding out that she's influenced Dr. House into waiving right of council isn't enough?" Nolan asked.

"Not because I've been made aware of it before the trial, no."

_Damn._ "Fair enough," Nolan said. "Dr. House will have a defense lawyer within the next few days."

"Good, good," Lee said. "Then hopefully we can get this case dealt with satisfactorily. Keeping Dr. House in a cell alone is a strain on our resources."

Nolan shook the man's hand and left. He wasn't able to get the case dismissed but at least he could ensure House got a fair trial.

-00000-

Past the bars of the county lockup, beyond the bullet proof glass and steel doors Jason Cooper was greeted by a sad sight.

An androgynous… man? woman? sat in the chair. Eyes rimmed with dark circles and a defeated, exhausted posture painted a picture of complete dejection, of someone who had been hit so many times it became pointless to ever get up again. "Doctor House?" he asked.

This picture of despair looked up with dead blue eyes. "Public defender?"

"Not anymore," Cooper said.

"Pro bono?"

"I certainly hope not."

House sat up and gestured across the table. "Pull up a chair."

Cooper took a seat. He nodded at the guard to go ahead and give them some privacy. "A mutual friend has arranged for me to represent you," he said. "Something about trying to punish yourself."

"Yeah, well, that happens when you drive a car through your ex's window. Unless I'm not allowed to admit that."

"Oh, admit it all you want," Cooper said. "I don't think innocence is something you can strive for."

House slumped back down and stared at the floor. "So why are you here?"

"Vehicular assault, assault with a deadly weapon, attempted mayhem, your ex has even managed to get the attempted murder charge piled on as well. That's at least ten years and that's if the jury takes pity on you."

"I don't want their pity," House said.

"Pity is a tool, Doctor House. You use what you have. And it turns out you have many more tools at your disposal than you think."

House scoffed.

"Don't knock it. Level 4 domestic abuse is an incredible tool."

House sat up in shock and stared at the lawyer.

"Your ex did some terrible things to you," Cooper continued. "Putting your job in jeopardy by forcing you into an unethical situation, causing a documented suicide attempt, isolating you from your friends, faulting you for seeking help, why there's even evidence for sexual coercion. There's more than enough here to put forward a temporary insanity plea."

House's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Nolan sent you."

"He did," Cooper admitted. "I can't force you to press charges against your ex, Doctor House. But I can and do recommend it."

House looked back down at the floor. If Nolan was behind these machinations then there was little that could be done to keep secrets. Nolan was learning quickly, already he was violating doctor-patient confidentiality for the purpose of a court case he hadn't been subpoenaed for. "If I press charges Cuddy loses her daughter."

"There's a kid involved?" Cooper asked, shaken by the news. "All the more reason to press charges. There's no telling what Doctor Cuddy might be capable of doing to a kid."

"No," House said. "Cuddy worked for a decade to try and get a kid. I'm not taking that away from her."

"Please reconsider. The court already has the evidence they need. Just say the word."

House balled fists in fury. Of course Nolan would have told them all about that, all about everything. Secrets didn't exist anymore once you talked to someone, anyone. Friends, colleagues, people would always let you down precisely when you needed them. "I'm not doing it," House said through gritted teeth. "How could he do this to me? How could Nolan tell them…"

"Stop right there," Cooper said. "Be quiet. All your therapist did was tell the DA that your decision to avoid a defense might have been coerced. That's all he had to do. The cops talked to people at the hospital. Doctor Cuddy's own mother gave a deposition though she wasn't told why. Mayfield hospital keeps their own records. This isn't Nolan's doing. There is so much evidence against Doctor Cuddy that if you'd just taken your right to a lawyer when it was offered then you'd be in this same situation. And another lawyer might even choose to press charges for you regardless of your feelings on the matter."

House glared at the man, leveled him with a glare that allowed no discussion. "You are **not** pressing charges," House said, enunciating every word.

"Then we can't use the temporary insanity plea," Cooper said.

"Fine."

"Fine."

-00000-

Cooper and DA Lee were meeting with Cuddy's lawyer, Guy Newman, behind closed doors. Generations of dogs stared down at them from the walls, silently judging the lawyers arguing in the DA's office.

"I don't believe this," Newman snapped. "You have no proof of these allegations. You have no right to accuse my client of such charges when it's your client who's on trial here!"

"I thought the state was trying to crack down on cases of domestic abuse." Cooper accused.

"We are, you know that," Lee said.

"Just not in cases like this."

"That's low, Cooper," Lee grumbled.

"Is it?" Cooper demanded. "Just because my client isn't the stereotypical victim doesn't make it go away. Women have been literally getting away with murder in our justice system for enduring less. At least one documented suicide attempt, actions that may represent a second attempt? Your client, Newman, took actions that directly placed my client's life, livelihood, and freedom in danger several times in their relationship. Why, I have evidence that she may have been sexually abusing him. And you're honestly going to sit there and let her get away with what she did to him. Why? Because my client is a man and supposed to be able to take it?"

"My client isn't the one on trial here," Newman said. "Your client is."

"My client is also a member of a politically vulnerable minority," Cooper snapped. "Why, people like him were unprotected by federal hate crime law until, what, a year ago? Two years?"

"What's your point?" Newman asked.

"Crackdowns against domestic abuse are meaningless if we refuse to protect the most vulnerable victims," Lee said. "Winning the easy cases nets you easy press. Winning the difficult ones nets you results."

"Advocacy groups are watching this case because of my client's gender identity," Cooper continued.

"I'd like to offer a plea deal," Lee said before turning to Cooper. "I'm sure you understand we can't just have your client walk free. Dr. House did some major property damage and there are zero tolerance laws to consider. He does have a history of vicodin use and abuse and if Dr. Wilson would be willing to provide testimony that your client imbibed before the incident then I believe we might have something."

"Felony DUI on top of, what is it…" Cooper knew what the charges were but he still pulled his notes to read them for effect. "Vehicular assault, attempted murder, attempted mayhem, and assault with a deadly weapon?"

"Attempted murder and attempted mayhem cannot be proven with the evidence we have available," Lee said. "I'm dropping those charges here and now."

"Fair enough," Newman said.

"Assault with a deadly weapon is reaching here, Guy," Lee said. "If your client really wants to go to court with this then you can object to the deal. However there is your client's daughter to consider. If it goes before a judge that your client was the aggressor in domestic abuse, especially sexual abuse, then your client will have CPS on her back before Cooper here gets a verdict."

"I'll talk to Dr. Cuddy," Newman said. He was not comfortable with that prospect.

"Vehicular assault is still a very real issue," Lee said. "If your client was intoxicated then that intoxication would need to be taken into account. I could ask the court to offer the lesser charge of felony DUI. Normally jail time would be commuted and mandatory rehab ordered instead. But with the destruction of property and multiple previous attempts at rehab I feel the court cannot offer less than one year with mandatory rehab served concurrently. A monetary fine would also be assessed."

"I will advise my client," Cooper said. He shook both their hands and left to give House the good news.

One year was certainly an improvement over 10-15.

-00000-

"I'm not taking a plea bargain," House said. She and Cooper were hidden away in a visitor's room.

Cooper hated this case. Well, not the case persay but he hated the client's damned stubbornness. "Why are you so insistent on punishing yourself?" he demanded.

House didn't say anything. She looked down at her hands and the ugly rings of steel binding them together

"If you don't take the plea bargain then this goes to trial," Cooper explained. "You'll never get a fair trial, House, you know that. If we keep all mention of your… condition out of your defense then you'll be found guilty so fast your head will spin. It doesn't matter what evidence we have, no one is going to take seriously any mention of Dr. Cuddy's wrongdoing. If we build your defense about you being vulnerable to her abuse because you were in the process of figuring out you're transgendered then you still won't get a fair trial. Dr. Cuddy will still be the sympathetic party because discrimination against people with your condition is still socially acceptable."

"Then stop trying to paint me as some sort of battered woman!" House snapped. "The moment you have me use the 'battered wife defense' is the moment I fire you and represent myself, got that?"

"That's also the moment they throw you into a hole and leave you there," Cooper said. He sat back and watched as she pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. A distinct shadow crossed her eyes and he realized…

"That's what you want, isn't it?" he asked. "You **want** them to throw the book at you then forget you exist. Why?"

"It's what I deserve," House said, refusing to look at him.

"You really think you deserve 10 to 15 for a moment of lost control?"

"I didn't lost control," she snapped. "I calculated and planned it! I watched them leave the room and calculated how long they would be gone! I planned how I was going to confront her after I did it! I did not 'lose control,' I knew exactly what I was doing! I've already lost!"

"You've lost your mind, that's what," Cooper grumbled.

"I lost it all," she said, voice going quiet. "I lost my friend, I lost my only fucking chance, I lost everything…" She stared at her hands. They kept going fuzzy as she let her cards show, as she blinked away tears. A two of clubs, a two of hearts, a four of spades, an ace of hearts, and a queen of clubs. A pair of deuces, a defunct team, a fair-weather friend, and a farcical marriage. Nothing.

"Is that why you want to be punished for something you didn't do?" he asked.

"But I did it. Don't you see, I did everything they say I did."

"Did you assault Dr. Cuddy with a deadly weapon?"

"What?" House asked. She'd never… She made **sure **no one would be hurt… "Of course not."

"Did you try to kill or dismember Dr. Cuddy? Or anyone, for that matter."

"No!"

"Then why are you insisting you pay for crimes you never committed?" Cooper demanded.

"But I…" House had no words, nothing to say to that.

"You took vicodin before getting in the car and you destroyed property with it. That's all you did. That's all this plea deal punishes you for. If this goes to trial you will be forced to pay for crimes you never committed just because Dr. Cuddy wants to see you suffer even more. Look, Dr. House, if the law recognized emotional justice then you'd be offered a pat on the back and be told to stay away from your ex. It doesn't. Don't prove me wrong by letting Cuddy use your feelings and her hatred to bury you."

House looked down at her hands. A fire sparked in her, slowly trying to burn away all the self-pity and self-loathing. Cooper was right. And this way she could still pay for her crimes. And maybe Cuddy wouldn't be able to hurt her wherever she ended up. "What's the deal?" she asked.

Cooper explained the terms. House nodded as she heard them. "I'll take it," she said.

-00000-

Cuddy hung up the phone. She looked at the handset, the wires attaching it to the desk. Her desk, the desk she had in medical school. What had once been a touching and thoughtful gift was twisted by events into a hateful reminder of the man who gave it to her.

News from the District Attorney still echoed in her mind. The man who had assaulted her and her family, the man who had torn her away from a happy engagement, the man who made her every working hour into a battle of wills, the man who decided halfway through their relationship that he wasn't going to be a man anymore, that man…

That man was not going to be facing trial. She'd so been looking forward to telling the judge and jury exactly what she thought of him and his failed attempts at a life. Worse, that man was facing what she considered an incredibly light sentence. Mandatory drug rehab, as if it could possibly be any more successful than the other two attempts. An all too small fine equal to the cost of repairs that exceeded 10% of her annual income minus $100, an effective fine of less than $5,000. A revoked driver's license. And jail time.

The thought of House in jail wasn't even a comfort. Sure he was a convicted felon now but it wasn't enough. She'd wanted him to **pay**. To be thrown into some dank hole with huge murderers who would teach him exactly what his efforts at being a woman had gained him. Instead he was going to be hanging around some minimum security facility for three months. Three months! Technically his sentence was for one year but the DA had told her that in all likelihood he'd be released in three months.

Three goddamned months. It was too short. Way too short. She'd been counting on years, long enough that she could disband his department, end his employment, revoke his 401k, and leave him friendless, penniless, battered and broken and utterly destroyed. Instead she was required by law to leave his position open for his eventual return. She was required to allow him to return!

She contemplated leaving. Just giving notice and quitting this hellhole and all its painful memories. It was an inviting prospect. But it would give him too much satisfaction. He was the one at fault, it was all his fault, she had to remember that. He was the one who drove his car through her window, he was the one who thought he was a woman, he was the one who tore her away from Lucas and then broke her heart, he was the one who wrongfully accused her of spousal abuse just to get out of paying for his crimes. She wasn't going to let him drive her away from everything she worked for.

But she wasn't going to take this lying down, either.

-00000-

I know the initial list of charges against House seems a little obscene. But I live in a draconian police state (California) where even minor offenses tend to be blown out of proportion if the people involved choose to be dicks. Scoff if you like but for some reason our courts have decided 'stealing food to survive' is a violent crime worthy of 25 to life under the Three Strikes Program. In order to temper the experiences that have led me to consider unlawful police beatings as just another daily occurrence I spent time doing research.

It turns out New Jersey drug laws are damned harsh. DUIs with any drug other than alcohol are an automatic felony. And from what information I was able to find it can be very difficult to get your license back. One year and a revoked license seemed fair enough.

The cost of repairs over 10% of income minus $100 is a specific number. Under US tax law, Cuddy would be able to deduct exactly that amount on her tax return. It's the court's way of ensuring that she gains precisely nothing from the incident.


End file.
